Across the table I see a man. In him I see me. Well, not exactly me. I see where 'me' comes from. Or at least partially comes from. He likes to remind me that he's much older, he would say he's much wiser, and there's no denying we're related. As we eat I stare at him; observe, is a better word. His skin color is a dark brown with reddish undertones. Skin color you might normally see derived from the Indigenous peoples of Mexico. He's an attractive man, in my opinion, with the draw of his personality adding to his physical attributes. He's extremely likable and in the eyes of at least a ten-mile radius of Phoenix natives, he's a local celebrity.
I've always perceived him as laid-back, relaxed and funny as heck! He loves to laugh, as evident by the laugh lines at the edges of his eyes. Some people, these days, go to ridiculous means to cover up those lines. Not this man. I know for a fact that he's proud of every line. Proud of the gray hairs that randomly appear throughout his naturally black locks. A man of few words with the talent and voice of an angel. Okay, maybe not an angel, but the man can sing. He's always told me that he sings from his throat when he should be singing from his gut. Forty or so years of performing is proof that regardless, his voice has done him well. His guitar, a vintage Fender Telecaster, has been with him longer than any significant other. Watching him play that instrument, while singing and pumping up the crowd is quite amazing. What a gift he has. What a gift he shares.
Across the table I see a man. In him I see me. Well, not exactly me. I see where 'me' comes from. Or at least partially comes from. He likes to remind me that he's much older, he would say he's much wiser, and there's no denying he's my father.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Continued learning...
The sky was an amazing blue after the sun lowered last night. I stood out on the patio of my sister's home, hugged my husband, and embraced the moment. Having spent the majority of that afternoon on that patio, my sister and I had dyed material and assembled flowers for our project. Finding very interesting color combinations I felt like a kid back in art class as I donned a painter's smock (okay, it was really an apron) and used paint brushes to apply the different colors. It was fun and relaxing, at the same time.
While sitting on the patio at the work table, a make-shift set-up my sister uses as her workstation, I remember thinking how wonderful the temperature was outside. Conducive to our afternoon of creativity. The music played in the background, a varied combination of tunes that came from her iPod. Most songs I knew and could sing along to, some I had heard and knew the tune, others completely new to me.
Back on the patio, I stood there embraced by my husband, looked into the kitchen from the back window and as my sister sat on the table in her home, I felt the wicked sting of tears approaching. Not having a sad reason to cry, I knew they were happy tears. And happy tears I always welcome. Realizing what was happening my husband asked me what was wrong. After a moment of swallowing the approaching tears to the best of my ability, I finally got the words out to tell him they were happy tears. I looked into the window and told him how much I'm learning from my sister. He smiled, knowing what I was referring to.
As the day turned to evening, we found ourselves working on the dining room table as we each created new items for our shop. At one point, with music playing in the background, she and I both sung different parts of songs as we sewed petals together and beads on the petals. My brother-in-law, as he meandered into the kitchen, made note of the music we were singing along to. Yes, it could have been a Lilith Fair mix, but it wasn't, and he had totally missed our ode to the New Wave movement of the 80's. We continued to sing and hum...a connection we had even as small, young sisters, which obviously remains with us as adults.
Back on the patio, embraced by love in so many different ways, I relished in the moment, appreciated the day and headed back inside to create more. The sky, now a dark blue; the temperature, colder and brisk. Life, a continuous learning lesson.
While sitting on the patio at the work table, a make-shift set-up my sister uses as her workstation, I remember thinking how wonderful the temperature was outside. Conducive to our afternoon of creativity. The music played in the background, a varied combination of tunes that came from her iPod. Most songs I knew and could sing along to, some I had heard and knew the tune, others completely new to me.
Back on the patio, I stood there embraced by my husband, looked into the kitchen from the back window and as my sister sat on the table in her home, I felt the wicked sting of tears approaching. Not having a sad reason to cry, I knew they were happy tears. And happy tears I always welcome. Realizing what was happening my husband asked me what was wrong. After a moment of swallowing the approaching tears to the best of my ability, I finally got the words out to tell him they were happy tears. I looked into the window and told him how much I'm learning from my sister. He smiled, knowing what I was referring to.
As the day turned to evening, we found ourselves working on the dining room table as we each created new items for our shop. At one point, with music playing in the background, she and I both sung different parts of songs as we sewed petals together and beads on the petals. My brother-in-law, as he meandered into the kitchen, made note of the music we were singing along to. Yes, it could have been a Lilith Fair mix, but it wasn't, and he had totally missed our ode to the New Wave movement of the 80's. We continued to sing and hum...a connection we had even as small, young sisters, which obviously remains with us as adults.
Back on the patio, embraced by love in so many different ways, I relished in the moment, appreciated the day and headed back inside to create more. The sky, now a dark blue; the temperature, colder and brisk. Life, a continuous learning lesson.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Education in Cultural Diversity
I've spent the last week teaching classes. My three morning classes have younger college students (some younger in years, some younger in experience), and at night, I have adult college students on two nights of the week. Each group of students are different, diverse. Some eager to learn, others not so much; the majority I can seem to draw in but there are always one or two that are tough. During conversation with one of my groups, the topic of cultural diversity came up and like the good teacher that I am, I pulled from my own life experiences and brought up some experiences traveling and my time in Seattle and South Florida. After five years living in the Sunshine State, I gained the most cultural diversity I've ever experienced in my life. (I just realized that I usually tell people I lived there about seven years...hmmmm, how have I gotten that wrong so many times??...or did it just feel longer than five years and I subconsciously change the number???)
After sharing my experiences with the different cultures, languages, dialects, food, etc. I was taken back to my first day in Fort Lauderdale. Having traveled, by car, for a little over three days with a friend as my moving companion, we had only one overnight stop in Jacksonville, Florida where we stayed with my friend Paula, it was a long drive across I-10 and then down South on I-95. Having lived in Seattle for barely a year, I wasn't thrilled at the thought of leaving the city I had fallen in love with so easily. Somehow I was convinced that the job opportunity was worth the move, worth leaving the Pacific Northwest that had some odd pull and tug at my heart strings. My year in Seattle may have been one of the loneliest, exciting, scary, educational, insightful and rewarding times in my life, but alas, South Florida called my name. We arrived with a car full of clothes, and other odds and ends, to an apartment complex that looked somewhat of a tropical retreat. (Well, at that time, all of South Florida seemed to be a tropical retreat to me).
My friend and I waited for the moving truck to deliver all the furniture and boxes to the apartment. The driver didn't arrive too much later than we had and within hours, all was unloaded into our two-bedroom, second-floor apartment with an entrance on the first floor and an amazing view of the pool in the center of the complex. On a whim, my roomie and I decided to find our way to the beach, because after all, this was the first time either of us had the opportunity to see the ocean on the Atlantic side. While I can't recall whether we went out to have dinner before, I recall us making our way to Fort Lauderdale Beach. It was night out and the moon was bright, the sand was warm between my toes and under my feet, and the water was...well, amazing. It was warm; comfortably warm. I had never been in ocean water that didn't nearly cause frost bite to my toes so this was a new experience. The slight splashing sound against the sandy coast is a sound I will never forget.
The smell of the salt in the air, warm water and feel of the sand under our feet, combined, is most likely what made us do the following...without much discussion, my friend and I decided to strip down to our last layer of clothing and jump in the warm water. I turned my back while my friend stripped down, because we were just friends after all. After he was in the water I did the same and we spent the next half-hour or so enjoying the warm cool wavy waters of Fort Lauderdale Beach. The first night in a city that would change me and my life in many positive ways.
While life can certainly be stressful, I mostly recall good times while living in South Florida. Maybe it's what I chose to do because whether good or bad, I generally try my best to use each experience in life as a learning lesson. That first night on the beach was only one of many, many times I would end up with sand in my car and the smell of salt water on my skin. I would eventually discover a city so beautiful that people will go out of there way to arrange a vacation there. Three counties (Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach) nearly overlapping, amazingly multi-cultural with more languages and dialects spoken than I had ever experienced. I would spend the next five years being exposed to cultures I knew about, and many I didn't, but had never experienced personally. Educational in more ways that my words can describe...which is quite surprising because I can usually find the words for anything.
Reminiscing about my culturally diverse experience in South Florida came to an end when one of my students asked me to share the most important or memorable thing I gained from my time there. I didn't have to ponder long to have an answer because while the ocean is beautiful, the palm trees picturesque (many with coconuts) and the food amazing...I left South Florida with an extremely culturally diverse mix of friends and family. From my Florida employee-turned-friend-turned-surrogate-mom, who is from the Dominican Republic from whom I inherited her family as my own (I'm like a distant cousin to her grown children), to one of my Bahamian employee-turn-friend who introduced me to Conch Fritters and one of the warmest souls and smiles I've ever met in my life, to my favorite couple (she from Columbian descent, he from Puerto Rican descent) who showed me what true friends are by including me as the third-wheel during many evenings and weekends when I otherwise would have been alone, to my Jewish employee-turned-friend who was my example and hero when it came to my decision to have surgery (she was much braver than I was). I've barely scratched the surface with examples of wonderful people who I call family and friends.
Reflecting on this is a reminder of why I love talking about cultural diversity whenever it comes up. There is nothing more educational when it comes to the topic than people who bring it to life for you.
After sharing my experiences with the different cultures, languages, dialects, food, etc. I was taken back to my first day in Fort Lauderdale. Having traveled, by car, for a little over three days with a friend as my moving companion, we had only one overnight stop in Jacksonville, Florida where we stayed with my friend Paula, it was a long drive across I-10 and then down South on I-95. Having lived in Seattle for barely a year, I wasn't thrilled at the thought of leaving the city I had fallen in love with so easily. Somehow I was convinced that the job opportunity was worth the move, worth leaving the Pacific Northwest that had some odd pull and tug at my heart strings. My year in Seattle may have been one of the loneliest, exciting, scary, educational, insightful and rewarding times in my life, but alas, South Florida called my name. We arrived with a car full of clothes, and other odds and ends, to an apartment complex that looked somewhat of a tropical retreat. (Well, at that time, all of South Florida seemed to be a tropical retreat to me).
My friend and I waited for the moving truck to deliver all the furniture and boxes to the apartment. The driver didn't arrive too much later than we had and within hours, all was unloaded into our two-bedroom, second-floor apartment with an entrance on the first floor and an amazing view of the pool in the center of the complex. On a whim, my roomie and I decided to find our way to the beach, because after all, this was the first time either of us had the opportunity to see the ocean on the Atlantic side. While I can't recall whether we went out to have dinner before, I recall us making our way to Fort Lauderdale Beach. It was night out and the moon was bright, the sand was warm between my toes and under my feet, and the water was...well, amazing. It was warm; comfortably warm. I had never been in ocean water that didn't nearly cause frost bite to my toes so this was a new experience. The slight splashing sound against the sandy coast is a sound I will never forget.
The smell of the salt in the air, warm water and feel of the sand under our feet, combined, is most likely what made us do the following...without much discussion, my friend and I decided to strip down to our last layer of clothing and jump in the warm water. I turned my back while my friend stripped down, because we were just friends after all. After he was in the water I did the same and we spent the next half-hour or so enjoying the warm cool wavy waters of Fort Lauderdale Beach. The first night in a city that would change me and my life in many positive ways.
While life can certainly be stressful, I mostly recall good times while living in South Florida. Maybe it's what I chose to do because whether good or bad, I generally try my best to use each experience in life as a learning lesson. That first night on the beach was only one of many, many times I would end up with sand in my car and the smell of salt water on my skin. I would eventually discover a city so beautiful that people will go out of there way to arrange a vacation there. Three counties (Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach) nearly overlapping, amazingly multi-cultural with more languages and dialects spoken than I had ever experienced. I would spend the next five years being exposed to cultures I knew about, and many I didn't, but had never experienced personally. Educational in more ways that my words can describe...which is quite surprising because I can usually find the words for anything.
Reminiscing about my culturally diverse experience in South Florida came to an end when one of my students asked me to share the most important or memorable thing I gained from my time there. I didn't have to ponder long to have an answer because while the ocean is beautiful, the palm trees picturesque (many with coconuts) and the food amazing...I left South Florida with an extremely culturally diverse mix of friends and family. From my Florida employee-turned-friend-turned-surrogate-mom, who is from the Dominican Republic from whom I inherited her family as my own (I'm like a distant cousin to her grown children), to one of my Bahamian employee-turn-friend who introduced me to Conch Fritters and one of the warmest souls and smiles I've ever met in my life, to my favorite couple (she from Columbian descent, he from Puerto Rican descent) who showed me what true friends are by including me as the third-wheel during many evenings and weekends when I otherwise would have been alone, to my Jewish employee-turned-friend who was my example and hero when it came to my decision to have surgery (she was much braver than I was). I've barely scratched the surface with examples of wonderful people who I call family and friends.
Reflecting on this is a reminder of why I love talking about cultural diversity whenever it comes up. There is nothing more educational when it comes to the topic than people who bring it to life for you.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Reflections of 2009
Well, like most people I am reflecting on this past year. Many say they are glad the year is almost over and I'm not immune to that sentiment. I'm actually very grateful to see this year pass for many reasons. Most too personal to publicly present here but I'm not one to present a facade so people think I live a perfect, rosy life. Certainly, I can't complain too much, but as it is, I have had my ups and downs. I will say though, with the utmost honesty, that the good times outweighed the bad. The bad were huge learning lessons for me. Ones that I'll take to learn and grow from.
This next year is already promising and I'm looking forward to an amazing 2010. All-in-all, as I am only three days away from my 38th year of life, I've learned many valuable lessons. So with that, my list of things I've learned or have been reminded of:
I am touched and blessed when I get a random post from individuals who at one time may have been a coworker, employee, colleague, peer or student because I now call these individuals friends. I am also grateful for the ability to keep in touch with family, especially those of my husbands family who live everywhere else but Phoenix. This year I was honored to meet the Guillen-clan who live mostly in Ecuador and happy to have found out a large majority are on Facebook. :) Ah, the benefits of technology.
I'm not one to make New Years resolutions. Quite honestly, I don't believe they work...at least not for me. I gave that up years ago. However, I do tend to make short and long-term goals and I have a few for this coming year. I'll post those in my first 2010 blog entry, though.
Here's to the end of another year...
Happy New Year family and friends!!!
This next year is already promising and I'm looking forward to an amazing 2010. All-in-all, as I am only three days away from my 38th year of life, I've learned many valuable lessons. So with that, my list of things I've learned or have been reminded of:
- Through my first experience of losing a job this year, without it being my choice to leave, I'm reminded that a job and job title does not make me who I am. It is only an accompanyment to the real me and I'm okay with that.
- I vow to be a better employee, leader, teacher, mentor and boss (should that be in the stars for me this year).
- I've learned that I am ever-so-fortunate to have ended up in the industry I work in and I am ever-so-grateful for the path I've gone down.
- I'm humbled by the opportunities available to me and vow not to take this for granted.
- I've been reminded (once again) that money does not make life perfect and happy. I've had times when the money is abundant and times when it's not. I'm blessed to be married to a man who keeps me grounded and helps to remind me of the most important things in life, which cannot be bought with money.
- I vow to be a better wife and best friend.
- I've also been reminded that family is important (this includes friends who are as close as family). I haven't been the best at being involved and in-touch.
- I vow to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend.
- I've been reminded that I must constantly work on keeping a healthy mind/body/spirit which includes a home/work-life balance. This isn't the easiest feat with the type of lifestyles we lead in the consumer-driven, capitalistic society we live in.
- I vow to find my center and strive for balance.
- I've also been reminded that some people come into our lives for a short season, while others remain for longer, more permanent roles in our lives. I'm okay with that and finally at the age (and EQ level) to accept that without regrets.
- I vow to appreciate each person I touch lives with. Hoping for mostly positive experiences, than anything else, of course.
I am touched and blessed when I get a random post from individuals who at one time may have been a coworker, employee, colleague, peer or student because I now call these individuals friends. I am also grateful for the ability to keep in touch with family, especially those of my husbands family who live everywhere else but Phoenix. This year I was honored to meet the Guillen-clan who live mostly in Ecuador and happy to have found out a large majority are on Facebook. :) Ah, the benefits of technology.
I'm not one to make New Years resolutions. Quite honestly, I don't believe they work...at least not for me. I gave that up years ago. However, I do tend to make short and long-term goals and I have a few for this coming year. I'll post those in my first 2010 blog entry, though.
Here's to the end of another year...
Happy New Year family and friends!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
What keeps you balanced?
It's barely going to be 6pm and it's already dark out. A sure sign that winter is approaching. For those who live in states where winter has been present for the past month or so, winter in the desert is nothing in comparison. Waking up to snow on the ground here in Phoenix will most likely never happen. Salt on the sidewalks to make them less slippery will never be required. And surely, a snow plow will not be used. 52 degrees, dark clouds and rain is COLD for a desert rat.
As of this writing a third cup of hot tea is being consumed - skipping coffee today for some reason - on a quest to stay warm on the inside, while the house heater works on keeping me warm on the outside. Two beautiful doggies, Lumpy and Widdle, draped on me in the office chair. Lumpy, wrapped around my shoulders like a mink shawl. Widdle curled up on my lap. Not the most ideal sitting position for me but they sure are helping in keeping me warm.
Having started the day with work, the afternoon has found me toggling back and forth between making Christmas trees out of magazines (which requires folding each page several times), writing for my Higher Ed blog, contemplating whether or not I have time to write in this blog, making dinner, feeding the dogs and cats, making mental notes of the painting technique I'll try later, and, watching national news (which has been on in the background all day). There are so many things on my "want-to-do" list that I can't seem to concentrate on one for too long before getting started on another.
My want-to-do list is one that I've just recently begun to focus on again. Having neglected many things for too long and finally feeling free and ready to tap into my creative side. I find that this focus helps to keep me mentally and emotionally healthy, which is a balance that is so important to each of us. In these busy days and lives we lead, we can so easily get lost in the daily grind that we forget to invest the time in things that we need to help keep us balanced. For some people, it's art, music, writing. For others, it's their faith, religion, spirituality. Some people prefer reading, exercising, cooking. Whatever it might be that keeps you balanced, I encourage you to squeeze time in to focus on it. Family and work are absolutely important but we can't forget taking care of our 'self'. Finding that work/life balance. What keeps you balanced?
As of this writing a third cup of hot tea is being consumed - skipping coffee today for some reason - on a quest to stay warm on the inside, while the house heater works on keeping me warm on the outside. Two beautiful doggies, Lumpy and Widdle, draped on me in the office chair. Lumpy, wrapped around my shoulders like a mink shawl. Widdle curled up on my lap. Not the most ideal sitting position for me but they sure are helping in keeping me warm.
Having started the day with work, the afternoon has found me toggling back and forth between making Christmas trees out of magazines (which requires folding each page several times), writing for my Higher Ed blog, contemplating whether or not I have time to write in this blog, making dinner, feeding the dogs and cats, making mental notes of the painting technique I'll try later, and, watching national news (which has been on in the background all day). There are so many things on my "want-to-do" list that I can't seem to concentrate on one for too long before getting started on another.
My want-to-do list is one that I've just recently begun to focus on again. Having neglected many things for too long and finally feeling free and ready to tap into my creative side. I find that this focus helps to keep me mentally and emotionally healthy, which is a balance that is so important to each of us. In these busy days and lives we lead, we can so easily get lost in the daily grind that we forget to invest the time in things that we need to help keep us balanced. For some people, it's art, music, writing. For others, it's their faith, religion, spirituality. Some people prefer reading, exercising, cooking. Whatever it might be that keeps you balanced, I encourage you to squeeze time in to focus on it. Family and work are absolutely important but we can't forget taking care of our 'self'. Finding that work/life balance. What keeps you balanced?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Racking the brain, trying not to cause a concusion.
I have a lot to say. A lot. Why? Because my mind rarely seems to take a break. I’m sure many of you can relate. This morning and for the past couple of days I’ve been racking my brain on what the topic of my next blog will be. I’ve even started a couple of posts on two different topics and basically walked away from completing them. The topics just didn’t seem right. I think what I’ve determined is that, to my own surprise, I worry about what people will think about me and my writing. And this needs to change.
The funny thing about this is that insecurity is only in specific areas of my life. In some areas of my life I don’t really acknowledge what people think about me. Example...my schooling. I know many people are truly happy that I’ve been able to make it as far as I have in my educational goals. But I also know that others either envy it or resent that I’ve made it this far. I am always grateful for any positive reinforcement or encouragement, but for negative talk...I just don’t let it impact me. I made a decision long ago that my education was a priority in my life. I’m doing it for me. For my own knowledge and personal goals. Why should I let others opinions impact me about it? Right?
Yet, for some reason, exposing myself for who I really am for anyone to read about....well, that is nerve-wrecking! This is something I need to get over because if I don’t, I’ll never reach my ultimate goal, which is to write a book. For years I’ve talked about doing this but I haven’t. For many reasons, I suppose, but mostly because I can’t seem to find that spark, that push, that inspiration that I need to reach this goal. I feel like I’ve got a ‘lack-of-confidence-writing disorder'. Let’s ponder that.
I’ll compare it to someone who has an eating disorder* (Disclaimer: I am not mocking, pointing out anyone, or belittling this disease - just using it metaphorically).
Similar to someone who looks in the mirror and sees someone who is fatter than they really are, I look at my writing and wish I could do better. I see the errors and flaws. I worry about the grammar. I’m grateful for spell-checker. Also similar is when people compliment and tell them they look great and don’t need to lose anymore weight – I get many compliments on my writing and yet, it’s hard to believe it truly in my heart. Or maybe it’s not that I don’t believe it, but rather, I have this fear of acknowledging that maybe, just maybe I am a good writer. Why fear acknowledging it? I’m not quite sure but I will ponder that further.
So I’ve decided that from now on I am going to just write my thoughts out. Maybe some people will get it; some won’t. Either way, I’m writing.
The funny thing about this is that insecurity is only in specific areas of my life. In some areas of my life I don’t really acknowledge what people think about me. Example...my schooling. I know many people are truly happy that I’ve been able to make it as far as I have in my educational goals. But I also know that others either envy it or resent that I’ve made it this far. I am always grateful for any positive reinforcement or encouragement, but for negative talk...I just don’t let it impact me. I made a decision long ago that my education was a priority in my life. I’m doing it for me. For my own knowledge and personal goals. Why should I let others opinions impact me about it? Right?
Yet, for some reason, exposing myself for who I really am for anyone to read about....well, that is nerve-wrecking! This is something I need to get over because if I don’t, I’ll never reach my ultimate goal, which is to write a book. For years I’ve talked about doing this but I haven’t. For many reasons, I suppose, but mostly because I can’t seem to find that spark, that push, that inspiration that I need to reach this goal. I feel like I’ve got a ‘lack-of-confidence-writing disorder'. Let’s ponder that.
I’ll compare it to someone who has an eating disorder* (Disclaimer: I am not mocking, pointing out anyone, or belittling this disease - just using it metaphorically).
Similar to someone who looks in the mirror and sees someone who is fatter than they really are, I look at my writing and wish I could do better. I see the errors and flaws. I worry about the grammar. I’m grateful for spell-checker. Also similar is when people compliment and tell them they look great and don’t need to lose anymore weight – I get many compliments on my writing and yet, it’s hard to believe it truly in my heart. Or maybe it’s not that I don’t believe it, but rather, I have this fear of acknowledging that maybe, just maybe I am a good writer. Why fear acknowledging it? I’m not quite sure but I will ponder that further.
So I’ve decided that from now on I am going to just write my thoughts out. Maybe some people will get it; some won’t. Either way, I’m writing.
Random thoughts of the day:
What is wrong with the family unit? What is wrong with people? Every week, if not a couple times a week, we see on the news that someone knocked off their family. Their whole family. A couple of weeks ago it was eight family members killed in their home...the one charged? A troubled son. Today, a man killed his family – wife and six children in Naples, Florida then flees to Haiti via the Miami International Airport. Nationally we see people dying at the hands of supposed loved ones. Even locally, there are stories of family members killing other family members. It’s out of hand!
Now, maybe it’s because I’m not in their position (and hope never to be) but the thought of laying a hand on someone I love and taking their life...well, I can’t even fathom it. Respect of life seems to be at an all time low and it truly is scary. Who can you trust if you can’t trust the people around you, people you call family, friends. Scary thought, right? The stories are all different. They come from all levels of socio-economical and socio-demographics. They are of every nationality and of both sexes. They are the least suspected. They are normal looking.
There are so many external and internal factors that contribute to the mental and emotional ‘snap’ that a killer goes through. I won’t sit here and pretend to be a psychological expert in any way, but I imagine that most of what goes on in the mind of a killer are rarely vocalized or shared with others. It’s all in their head. The voices, some say, arguing within on what is right or wrong. Justifying their actions. This is the extent of what I can imagine. Going any further, even in thought, makes my stomach uneasy.
What’s wrong with the family unit? What’s wrong with people?
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